Just.... Dood.

Sooooooooo... Work sucks. Why can't I be one of those awesome people who somehow gets money, but doesn't ever have to work? ...I'd so love that. Especially on days like today.


You know, those days where you have to hang up on some psycho 70-year-old lady who won't stop cussing you out? Yeah. Those ones. And also, I'm not joking... I really had one of those old ladies. But wait! It gets BETTER!


I'm really trying SUPER hard to not be one of those annoying pregnancy-bitch people... but I can't help it today. It freaking HURTS. If this little snotbuttpoomunch would stop trying to make some glorious escape out my bellybutton, things would be fine. But no. It insists on tormenting me. "Mom? HEY MOM. MOOOOOOMMMM. I can HEAR YOU. PAY ATTENTION TO ME!"


And I just wanna scream at it to knock it off and be quiet. The fetus version of 'sit down, shut up'. But I can't.... because that might not go over well while on a call and in front of people who actually think I'm semi-sane. Which on days like today, I get dangerously close to just not giving a rat's ass whether they think I'm a purple spotted monkey or a ten-year-old prositot. I just DON'T care.

Look at this. LOOK. Do you see that huge mountain trying to shove through my navel? That's the mean little innard ninja I'm carrying. Obviously, it has no regard for how not-big-enough-to-carry-it I am. Rude.


Someone should write it a memo.