Uh, Fail Blog.

Sooo... Basically, I pretty much completely fail at being a blogger, and never should have started this whole thing in the beginning, because I'm almost DESTINED to suck at it forever. Sucking forever doesn't sound pleasant... No, it sounds more like an angry badger attached to a chainsaw on meth, and gurgling water. 

Strangely, that's almost what my ADHD is like. Except for a few minor differences that we won't get into now.


Anyway. Back to my EPIC failure. At least I came up with an interesting name for it, right? Doesn't that at least count for SOMETHING?? O_o ......Yeah. I didn't think so. But, it was worth a shot.


I gotta say, really quickly, that typing with a brace on sucks big, hairy monkey ass. It's ever so much easier to write without wanting to stab the stupid thing with a spork every two seconds.


If wrist braces had eyeballs, the left one would be spork-stabbed. Hmmm.... Ninja Spork...

Hehe, I drew my spork!

Edit/Update: Getting Ramen noodle sauce is also fail. The end.
Update #2, much after the fact: WTF? Getting Ramen noodle sauce is also fail? WAS I HIGH?!?!

Piranhas: Face-Eating Blood Fish.

The Red Bellied Piranha...

Piranhas will eat your FACE.

It's the truth. And so will their "fish cousins" the Pacu. There have actually been reports of the Pacu eating a kid's finger, and trying to eat a dude's nose. And they wonder why.

It's because they're little death minions, duh! Are you CRAZY?!?!  Why on EARTH would you keep any sort of animal that could EAT you as a pet?! Let alone an animal related to the fucking Piranha?! It seriously makes me  question the human race.

I mean, how stupid do you have to be to not realize that this fish will EAT YOUR FACE?!  Literally!

The best part about researching this fish at 6 a.m., was that I seemed to have some sort of superhuman psychic ability to guess exactly what happened, and I came out right pretty much every time. The weirdest thing anyone said though, was that they would still wade into Utah Lake even though they had just caught a fish that would eat them. It's like, "Oh yeah, I don't mind being nibbled on here or there. Really. It's no biggie, *big, cheesy smile*" Uh huh. Ok. So. You don't mind feeding these ravenous blood fish your body and fueling their power to chomp on your bones. Okay. Thanks for fucking the rest of us over, buddy.

The Red Bellied Pacu.

I'm never going to Utah Lake again.

Cutting out Kneecaps With Rusty Spoons is FUN!

Ooooohkay. First, I'd like to say that after a sleepless night last night, adventure time with my beloved sounded wonderful. I was deeply mistaken.


Not only is it cold outside, but the wind decided that it hates me and wants to eat my face off. BUT, we didn't learn that until AFTER we left the apartment at the buttcrack of dawn (er, 8 a.m. heh). We decided to hop the bus and run around... though we didn't plan on running around for five plus hours. 


Let me shed some light on myself really quickly. I have what's called Patella Femoral Syndrome, meaning that my kneecaps don't align with my femor-groovy thingies, and the tendons er ligaments er whatever they are don't hold them in place... Therefore, they are shifted to the side, causing a lot of grinding and EXCRUCIATING pain. This has been going on for years, but only as of this year has it been too overwhelming to deal with... Hopefully, though, it won't result in surgery. O_o


SO ANYWAY. Walking anywhere is a very exaggerated task, made more difficult by stiff, grind-y knees that sound like creaky floor boards when I walk sometimes. And being out for five hours is quite the big deal.
At first it wasn't all that bad, I was hyper on Rockstar (Rockstar is like my Meth) and no sleep, and was bouncy and happy.... and at that point it wasn't way too cold or windy. Surprisingly. So, we wait for the bus, it gets there shortly after we do, and we hop on. Yaay! We reach our first destination, and begin waiting for our next bus. By then, it's a bit more windy, and the temperature has dropped. Me, being the handitard I am, wore skinny jeans with those worn hole-y thingies in 'em, and a not-as-warm-as-it-should-be jacket. Yes. For some reason, I decided that TODAY must be the day that I experience skinny jeans for the very first time. God, I must be a fucking moron... Skinny jeans + me + cold + wind + whatever else = runny nose, sniffling, and no warmth throughout any of my body. Lesson learned. Until next time.


Waiting for the bus! *happy dance*.... Er... No. Stop, rewind. Waiting for the bus... *kicking, screaming, overly dramatic conniption fit* We waited there for an hour... with the wind picking up more and more, and the temperature getting consistently lower. I tried breathing on myself, down my jacket, shoving my nose in Perry's hoodie (which ended up with him being grossed out by a little nose-jelly), and running in circles imagining that my head was a giant ball of flames. None of it worked.


Finally, the bus comes... and then we get off a few minutes later to... guess... WAIT FOR ANOTHER BUS! You'd think I wouldn't complain by now.. I'd be used to it, give in, and realize my sad, windy, nose-jellyish fate. But no. For some damned reason, I'm much too stubborn to do that, so I keep trying to stick my face in Perry's hoodie.


Eventually, we get on the bus for a longer period of time (long enough to warm up), and end up at the store. Our final stop. Besides home, that is. We hurry through the shopping, grab our bags... We have just enough time on our transfers to make it without having to pay again. "All we need is the bus to get there right when we do," I say. 


Guess what happened then. Guess. Go on. Take a whack at it. Yep. The bus goes RIGHT PAST US as we're walking to the stop. Needless to say, we begin to hoof it home. Longest walk OF. MY. LIFE. I think I died somewhere along the way, and entered a state of riggor mortis. Because now I can't move my legs very well.


 My everything feels like it's imploding.. and exploding at the same time... while being mauled by an angry badger attached to a chainsaw. I'd like to cut my kneecaps out with a dull spoon. Yes. Even THAT would be better than what I'm feeling right now.


So it's been decided... That I'm never walking anywhere again in my lifetime.


Oh. And Piranhas are now the new vision of my nightmares. And day-mares... Just so you know. Also, they have a "cousin fish" called the Pacu. Which is basically a piranha that just doesn't eat you quite as quickly. I learned these things. At six a.m. And totally guessed what a Pacu was without even knowing. I was so right.


P.s. I totally forgot to mention that we walked over scary overpasses and nearly died. Stupid wind.

Ermhrm....

Allllllllrighty, then... Well, I must admit, that I am a tiny, eeny-weeny, tidbit too inebriated to be doing this right now... But honestly, it's probably the only way I'd ever start myself doing this. So ha, NEENER on you, and my apologies in advance.


So. This is my very first post.... and will most likely be filled with all sorts of random CRAP, but... I'm hyper. And inebriated. And I keep having to backspace and re-type half the stuff I'm writing. Feel lucky.... Feel VERY lucky... because that means you're obviously special somehow, since I rarely re-type anything for anyone.


I'd like to begin by introducing myself. I, am Tink. Yes... Tink. I have been called that since.. well, forever. It's the first real nickname I was ever given, and it has stuck with me (and mostly haunted me) ever since. 


42 PURPLE MONKEY SPERMS. 


That's right. You heard me... -_- And now you can't escape, because you're so enthralled with the previous sentence that you wanna know just where it is coming from, and why it has appeared on your screen.


Explanation: I felt like it, the end.


I'm not quite sure how to continue this. I have very little inspiration right now... Maybe you should ask questions? I'll answer... Uhhhhh.... Until then, I'll construct something that is a little less wasteful with your time.


It was nice meeting you, though! I will be back sometime soon with what I hope to be a decent post. Pardon my lack of entertainment skill due to.. well... me, and my inebriation.