Sooooooooo... Work sucks. Why can't I be one of those awesome people who somehow gets money, but doesn't ever have to work? ...I'd so love that. Especially on days like today.
You know, those days where you have to hang up on some psycho 70-year-old lady who won't stop cussing you out? Yeah. Those ones. And also, I'm not joking... I really had one of those old ladies. But wait! It gets BETTER!
I'm really trying SUPER hard to not be one of those annoying pregnancy-bitch people... but I can't help it today. It freaking HURTS. If this little snotbuttpoomunch would stop trying to make some glorious escape out my bellybutton, things would be fine. But no. It insists on tormenting me. "Mom? HEY MOM. MOOOOOOMMMM. I can HEAR YOU. PAY ATTENTION TO ME!"
And I just wanna scream at it to knock it off and be quiet. The fetus version of 'sit down, shut up'. But I can't.... because that might not go over well while on a call and in front of people who actually think I'm semi-sane. Which on days like today, I get dangerously close to just not giving a rat's ass whether they think I'm a purple spotted monkey or a ten-year-old prositot. I just DON'T care.
Look at this. LOOK. Do you see that huge mountain trying to shove through my navel? That's the mean little innard ninja I'm carrying. Obviously, it has no regard for how not-big-enough-to-carry-it I am. Rude.
Someone should write it a memo.
I'm back, and more pregnant than ever! Well.... more pregnant than I have been since I gave birth. I dunno what possessed me to come back, since ya know... my blog is pretty much fail... Eh. You can all live with it.
Things have changed quite a bit since I was last here.... I've got a new job going, a little innard ninja that kicks the crap outta me... Oh! And I got some new shorts! :D How does that compare to a job and a child, you ask? I'm not quite sure. I do know, however, that it IS pretty awesome seeing as I haven't owned a pair of shorts in two and a half years.
See this? SEE this belly?! That's muh innard ninja at twenty weeks and two days. Oh. And those are my new shorts. I thought that this picture was the best option to go with, knowing how excited you all must be to read about the shorts.
Ew. I look so.... bulbous. Ok. Maybe it's not so much of an 'ew', but more of an.... an.... actually, I dunno. I DO know that heartburn, nausea, and being pummeled from the inside kinda suck. But in a good way.
I'm hoping the baby will share my distaste for piranhas... It would give us something else to bond over. I'm sure I don't have to worry, though.
