Piranhas: Face-Eating Blood Fish.

The Red Bellied Piranha...

Piranhas will eat your FACE.

It's the truth. And so will their "fish cousins" the Pacu. There have actually been reports of the Pacu eating a kid's finger, and trying to eat a dude's nose. And they wonder why.

It's because they're little death minions, duh! Are you CRAZY?!?!  Why on EARTH would you keep any sort of animal that could EAT you as a pet?! Let alone an animal related to the fucking Piranha?! It seriously makes me  question the human race.

I mean, how stupid do you have to be to not realize that this fish will EAT YOUR FACE?!  Literally!

The best part about researching this fish at 6 a.m., was that I seemed to have some sort of superhuman psychic ability to guess exactly what happened, and I came out right pretty much every time. The weirdest thing anyone said though, was that they would still wade into Utah Lake even though they had just caught a fish that would eat them. It's like, "Oh yeah, I don't mind being nibbled on here or there. Really. It's no biggie, *big, cheesy smile*" Uh huh. Ok. So. You don't mind feeding these ravenous blood fish your body and fueling their power to chomp on your bones. Okay. Thanks for fucking the rest of us over, buddy.

The Red Bellied Pacu.

I'm never going to Utah Lake again.